The Relationship Red Flags You Shouldn’t Overlook

movingYou never know where life is going to take you, literally. This can mean relocating for work, school, family or sometimes, for a partner. This can be an extremely tough decision, especially if you aren’t married. How do you know when it’s right to pick up your own life and move it somewhere else, in order to stay in your relationship?

I was actually faced with this situation when I got into grad school in New York City. My boyfriend of 4 years was faced with the decision if he was going to come with me or if he would stay in Los Angeles. After many long talks, a few fights, a broken down car and a missed flight later, we ended up in the Big Apple together, and it ended up being an amazing experience. Sometimes you just have to listen to your gut instinct in order to know what the right path is, but in other cases it may not be so clear. In order to help you figure out which decision you should make, below are a few red flags that you may be overlooking that you may want to consider before making a big move.

He Didn’t Include You In The Decision

If your boyfriend got a job offer in another state and merely told you he was moving, instead of having a conversation with you about it, then that could be a sign that he has no interest in either reconsidering or inviting you to come along. Not including you in the decision to make a move that will drastically affect your relationship, shows a disinterest in keeping it together. Take a clue with this one, and stay put.

You Don’t Know Anything About His Life 

If you have been dating someone for a while, and you still haven’t been introduced to any of his friends or family, then that could be a sign that he does not view the relationship as a serious one. Unwillingness to bring you into his personal life probably means that he doesn’t see the point, since it isn’t going to be a long term thing anyway. Moving for someone that won’t even introduce you to his BFF isn’t worth the risk. Who knows, once you get there, who’s to say that he won’t just end it anyway?

You Don’t Argue

Although this may seem like a good thing, unwillingness to engage in confrontation with your partner is usually a sign that the communication in the relationship isn’t so strong. Being able to voice your opinions and feelings, even those that are controversial, is part of being in a stable relationship. Before moving anywhere, you need to make sure you have the foundation to build something on first.

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Used under Creative Commons Licensing courtesy of Robert Couse-Baker

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