The world would be a great place if people didn’t fight – but that simply isn’t going to happen. It can be with your significant other, your child or even your boss – everyone has disagreements and most people don’t know how to navigate them appropriately. Here are some tips you need to know to make sure you know how to fight fair and actually resolve conflicts in your life instead of making them worse.
The Truth Matters
When you’re fighting with someone the truth is flying around, maybe even several truths, but if you don’t acknowledge the truth and just keep going nothing will ever be resolved. Many times when people fight they are looking for affirmation, so saying, “You know what, you’re right” can go a long way to resolving the issue.
You should say out loud that what the person you’re fighting with is saying is true, even if you’re mad and don’t really want to do it. Even if it makes you look bad or diminishes your point you still need to acknowledge the truth of the situation.
To do this, use words such as:
- Good point
- You’re right
- I had not thought of it that way
- I can see your point
Even if they’re right, it’s a good to point out if you don’t like something about what they’re doing. If they’re being patronizing then point it out as you acknowledge what they’re saying is correct. Also, admit when you’re wrong. It can be hard, but it’s the right thing to do.
Stay On Point
Many people get sidetracked in arguments, and that never gets you anywhere. Getting into a debate over who said or did what isn’t the point of what you’re attempting to resolve. Basically, you need to argue for something, not against it.
Try to be as genuine you can in these disagreements without getting too defensive, manipulating or trying to avoid the situation altogether – that won’t get you anywhere. This is a skill you will likely have to practice but it will get you where you want to go if you can master it.
Assume the Best
It’s best to go into these things assuming that the person you’re arguing with has good intentions and not nefarious ones. Sometimes people will get mean, but that doesn’t mean you should stop having the discussion.
You have to make a habit of assuming your sparring partner is coming from a place of good. Your goal is to view things in a positive light instead of assuming they just have it out for you. That will make the disagreement actually go someplace instead of getting stalled.
Try these strategies and see how it can improve your communication in tough situations!
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